Your life has changed, and now it’s time to reinvent it on your terms. You can make powerful post-divorce changes that will put you on the path to happiness and prosperity.
- Complete your divorce this year. If you’re hoping for a reconciliation, it’s time to get clear on whether you both want the same thing. Complete any outstanding paperwork so you can start your new life.
- Stop fighting losing battles. Don’t use your lawyer or the court to settle your post-divorce emotional issues. Instead seek help from close friends or a therapist to work through your issues.
- Update wills, insurance policies, estate plans and trusts. You can easily make a new will or living trust with a basic software program. If your financial circumstances are more complex, a lawyer can create new documents for you.
- Meet with a financial expert. Get objective advice about how to achieve your financial goals from an expert specializing in post-divorce situations.
- Don’t badmouth your ex in front of the children. You will only create a loyalty conflict for children. Even though it may be difficult, make sure to encourage your children to spend time with their other parent.
- Don’t withhold child support or visitation from your ex. Children adjust better and are happier post-divorce if they have meaningful and frequent contact with both parents. Also, if you withhold child support or visitation, a court may hold you in contempt for violating a court order.
- Commit to cooperative co-parenting. Both parents should be welcome at the children’s milestone events. Children shouldn’t fear having their parents in the same room.
- Start exercising regularly. Exercise releases serotonin and endorphins that block muscle pain and can make you feel happier and more energized.
- Forgive your ex. Forgiveness releases you from being bound to a grudge. Forgiveness and forgetting are two separate ideas. You can remember the lesson, but forgive and move on.
- Forgive yourself. The breakdown of your marriage, regardless of who is at fault, requires forgiving yourself. Even if you were surprised by the divorce, you might need to forgive yourself for overlooking the warning signs.
You can move on with your life from your Virginia divorce when you take the responsibility to make change happen.
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Matt Kurylo
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